I am an easy-going mother – light-hearted and casual – as per Indian standards, and definitely not approved by many mothers in the society I live in. It is expected that if one has a single child – esp. a boy he has to doted on – all his mistakes are to be overlooked, he has to molly-coddled, extra extra extra care has to be taken about his food habits (fuss over him to eat more); when he is sick I should be at his bed side fanning and feeding him rather than encourage him to bear and handle the pain and enable him to recover.

Well, its just that I do not believe in all this. I believe that as a single parent I give him the best platform to educate himself, encourage him to grab the best opportunities available to him within the economic constraints I have, point out his mistakes and get him to correct himself and support him when he takes risk and fails. As per society’s standards these are not what a mother should do. I not agree. That always leads me to question : what exactly is motherhood? Who defines motherhood – the mother or the child or both or the Society?

Is motherhood associated or deeply ingrained in the culture of the country? Does it have to do with religion? or does it have to do with mother’s personality? Who defines it?

Should I always and every minute strive to be an ideal mother? If yes, then how would describe an ideal mother? Aren’t all mothers beautiful? If that is true, then all mothers are ideal in their own way?

Motherhood implies unconditional love – which to me, translates as unconditional support to your child with respect to what they love to do, to help them find their identity and above all, to just let them be.

Motherhood, according to me, has to be defined by the mother – it is as expansive as the ocean below or the sky above – not as narrow like the kaleidoscopic lens of the society.

Making knots with coloured wollen threads is a current past time of mine. Knot-making helps me de-stress. Infact, Knot-making is also a form of meditation as it gets us to focus on getting the knot right- hence we do not think of any problem or issue while doing the act. This helps us to clear the mind.

Knot-making activities are plenty – knot making for making a band, for making fancy bag, for dresses, for wollen caps and curtains.

I choose to learn knot-making creating small woolen bands that can be tied around the waist. I am required to tie different coloured wollen threads on the toe and connect it to all my 10 fingers in my hand. This helped me in working at hand, leg and eye co-ordination – this proved to be a simple but effective exercise.

I make these threads and gift it to people who matter the most to me – hence I now am able to gift personalized things to my loved ones.

This is a wonderful and engaging past-time. I would definitely recommend to everyone, who wants to have an inexpensive hobby.

I was taught to ask a question – Am I available?

What does the word availability mean?

A deep reflection on the word of availability gives deep insight.

Are we available? – Available with all our faculties to every relationship or encounters in our lives.

The answer is simple : No.

When we talk to someone at workplace, we are available mentally at home and vice versa.

While watching a movie, we are available elsewhere planning something else.

When with family, we are available in the mind at our desk in our workplace.

We are so consciously not available to our body’s needs. Do we consciously be available to everyone around us – children, friends and families? No. We are lost.

Am I available to understand others pain or join others in their joy, without placing ourselves first – without bias, without judgement, without jealousy?

Availability is how I perceive my role in relation to others and their needs.

So, how do we consciously be available to our environment? Need to ponder.

I thought about it : Being Mindful. Being Mindful of the things we do. I struggle being mindful? Do you? Any thoughts on this.

‘Me’ time can be any part of the day – a time exclusively for ourselves. Me – a selfish time. It could be few precious hours before bed. It could be a few moments before the entire family wakes up.

‘Me’ time – could be a few moments of a day when you groove to your favorite music undisturbed, a time you are journaling and a time you get messy -either gardening or just playing with colours.

Just because the world rushes around me, I am under no obligation to do the same, instead find ‘me’ time throughout the day – moments or pockets of solace.

I got to learn a different form of meditation last week. Meditation – where I got to observe a plant.

The plant is observed everyday at a specific time for a week. I get to use all our five senses to observe the plant.

In the first few days, I observed the plant at the surface level – whatever meets my eye. Then the plants got interconnected to memories/ past events in our lives – this eventually led to reflection.

Reflection is one of the best teachers. Reflection is also a form of meditation. Meditation makes you aware and that’s exactly what the observation does to us. It gets us to meditate.

An interesting exercise for any age group.

Imagine there’s a get together at home, or a Diwali party ? Do we always have to spend on decorating our living room or the balcony with expensive decors ? The answer I heard from a friend was : No.

She always chose to light candles on either side of the potted plants on the coffee table of the drawing room. She also adds small water bowls with few lighted candles on the candle bars around it in the corners of the balcony. This creates a sense of peace and calm; it also adds to the aesthetics of the room. Try lighting one for the next occasion at home.

A body part that works without rest – 24X7 – 365 days a year- throughout our lifetime. Inspite of its incredible contribution to our lives, why is it ignored – almost everyday. A little pampering – of the feet – massage, oil massage, a gentle press at night, putting up your feet – by lying on the floor or putting up your feet – on the desk after a day’s work – is a good warm-up exercise. Trust me, gentle massaging of the feet with oil is truly de-stressing !

The habit of reading newspapers should be cultivated in children since their primary school. The parents can pick a few news articles, which is age appropriate and aligns with the interest of the child, Like article on pollution levels in the city.

The newspaper – can be split into sheets and each family member gets a sheet. This activity can be done an hour before bed. The child can read a para or two from the news article given to him/her. This can be followed by parents sharing their perspectives on the news, defining a term, correcting their pronunciation, learning a new world and helping the child form an opinion.

The parents can read out aloud a few news from their papers and this too could be followed by a discussion.

As a family, you spend time, get to know each other better and have gently taught your children the importance of sharing and learning – collaboration.

One ideal family activity – for a lazy Sunday afternoon at our farm houses with dogs barking and cool breeze could be solving a jigsaw puzzle. Placing the pieces together about deliberations and discussions, casual banter and laughter are an added bonus while solving it. If you have not tried it so far, please do so.